This fantastic story comes to us courtesy of Sara Tripp and recounts the shock and disappointment she felt when she realized her two best (male) friends might be harboring some less-than-egalitarian views about women.
I've always felt like architecture was difficult. I've had to work extremely hard since I've started, but I blamed a lot of that on having no training before college and having to learn everything from scratch. When I was younger, all that extra work equivalated to not working very hard, because I was overwhelmed. Yet as I grew older, I finished, started a career, and realized that I really can do this, I can do it well, and I enjoy it.
But, tonight I heard something that cemented a thought that I've been pushing to the back of my consciousness for some time. Architecture, like many fields of study, is a boys club. Women have infiltrated, there have been many throughout history, Zaha Hadid is a bad ass bitch, so is Maya Lin and many famous firms have women partners in their initials. Still, many firms don't have many girls in them. I am the only one in my firm, which has fluctuated size over time from anywhere between 5-12 architectural staff. When I started, Ken told me that they've had issues with girl workers in the past, but he was excited when I started. We're all very close, we hang out outside of work, so I pretend that it's normal and don't pretend, but know, that I have a good place in my firm.
Still, I look around and realize, and hear horror stories about other girls working, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can't figure it out, are girls not getting the same training as the boys? Are they less capable for real? Do they get beat down by this idea that the boys rule then not try to fully fulfill their potential? What is it?
I heard two of the most ignorant things tonight, and couldn't even muster the power to continue the argument because the people involved didn't even have an inkling that they were in the wrong. One statement was that the guy wished he didn't have to work with girls at work ever, the other being that one guy felt uncomfortable with the thought of working closely with a girl at work, then going home to his wife because it was only a matter of time...
What the fucking fuck?
Sure, some girls are probably not very good at their jobs. But you know what, there are a fucking million more dudes attempting this profession that suck horribly at what they do, you know why, because of the ratio. We've had a bunch of them at my firm over the years. It's not fair to say that. You want to say that girls are too emotional to work with? That's unfair, because everyone has bad days, and I work with a man that has more mood swings than any woman I've ever met, but we deal with it. Fucking buck up and deal with it. Girls are annoying? Give me a break, I know plenty of annoying men, plenty that are overly confident know it alls that mess everything up so I can come in and fix it. A girl. Fixing a man's mistakes. Because I'm not incompetent, and I catch on quickly, and I work hard. It's bullshit, and I'm obviously seriously pissed.
The second statement was pure retardation, I feel like it was just thrown in so another man could have his say. Are you kidding me? One, a person that would think that must A) not be very secure in his marriage, B) have an over abundance of self esteem and think extremely high of himself to think that any woman he works closely with would 1) fall in love with him or 2) involve themselves in destroying a marriage??? AT WORK??? Give me a break! I have never thought about any of the dudes I've worked with that way, and there have been attractive ones, but I'm not at work to pick up dudes, and I don't think all girls are.
Whatever, what I'm getting at is this. Tonight, two of my best friends told me that they don't think girls are as good at architecture as guys, and that they don't have a place in a firm. And they didn't see anything wrong with that. If that's not a glass ceiling, I have no idea what is.
It's a caveman mentality. I feel like the logic is flawed. It's like saying I wish I never had to work with redheads because they're distracting and less intelligent. Or fat people can't work well on construction projects because they don't fit. Or men are better drivers. No one really thinks that way, they couldn't because the data proves otherwise. I just paid $70,000 to become an architect. I'm not going to sit at home and cook and clean and be a baby machine. That's not what all women are meant for.
There are certain times when you look around and realize that there are tons of people that think they know everything, and are doing what they're supposed to so therefore the rest of us are in the wrong. The smugness, and the indignation doesn't look good on any of them. It's only a matter of time before the cold hard reality hits them.
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